From one veteran dance mom to another
If you’re new to the world of competitive dance, welcome to the sparkly jungle. After years in the competitive dance world, I’ve learned that there’s a whole world of unwritten rules that every parent eventually picks up—but no one really talks about them.
So, whether you're heading to your first regional or you're already planning for nationals, here are some of the unspoken rules of being a dance parent at competitions.
It's Not About You (No, Really)
You’re not here to win. Your child is.
Stay out of the politics, stay off the judges’ radar, and remember: this is their stage, their moment. Be supportive, not competitive (with other moms, especially).
Respect the Dressing Room Vibe
The dressing room is sacred ground.
Don’t take up too much space. Bring what you need, but pack it neatly. (This is why I swear by my Kendall Country garment bag—it keeps everything organized and out of everyone else’s way.)
Oh—and if you forgot hairspray, just ask. We’ve all been there.
Be a Cheerleader for Everyone
Yes, you’re here for your kid, but clap for all the dancers.
These kids are working their hearts out, and a little extra cheer from the audience goes a long way. Kindness is free—and it comes back around when it’s your dancer on stage.
Don’t Talk Scores Until You’re in the Car
It’s tempting to compare, comment, or analyze—but don’t.
After a long day of quick changes and adrenaline, your kid doesn’t need a performance review. They need hugs, snacks, and maybe a nap.
The Real MVPs Bring Snacks (for Everyone)
There’s a special place in heaven for moms who bring extra granola bars, hair ties, safety pins, or ibuprofen. Be the mom who’s prepared.
(Again, keep your On-The-Go Organizer stocked with the essentials. You’ll be the hero of the dressing room.)Stay Aware of the Schedule
Competitions can run ahead or fall behind. Check how the comp is moving throughout the day and remind your dancer when it’s getting close to their call time. Staying aware of the schedule keeps everyone calm and ensures your dancer doesn’t miss a beat.
Label/Mark Everything
Hair nets, shoes, costumes, makeup—everything should have your child’s name or initials on it. You’d be amazed how many identical leotards and jazz shoes end up in the wrong hands.
Your Energy Sets the Tone
If you’re calm, your dancer will be calm.
If you’re frazzled and yelling about bobby pins, guess what—they’ll be frazzled, too. Pack the night before. Have a checklist. And take a deep breath together.
Be Respectful at the Hotel
If you're staying overnight during a competition weekend, remember that hotels host many dance families. Respect quiet hours and remind your dancer and their friends to keep noise down in hallways and rooms. A little courtesy goes a long way for everyone’s rest and sanity.
Remember Why You're Here
It’s not just about medals or placements.
It’s about watching your child grow into a confident, hardworking, expressive human being. The sparkle is great—but the growth is what really matters.
Being a dance parent is a whirlwind—glamorous one moment, chaotic the next. But it’s also one of the most rewarding front-row seats you’ll ever have.
So pack the snacks, cheer loud, and bring the garment bag. And if all else fails, just smile, nod, and find someone with eyelash glue.
From one glitter-covered, coffee-fueled, Kendall-Country-bag-carrying dance mom to another—you've got this.